A TOEFL Integrated essay on supernovae

This is an example of an integrated essay on the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language). This essay responds to the writing task on page 407 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL. Students have three minutes to read the passage on supernovae. They then listen to a lecture on the same topic and write their essays within the 20-minute time limit.

It's important to write a well-organized essay, to have a clear thesis statement, which is the answer to the question, and to convey how the listening relates to the reading. Students should spend 2 minutes in the beginning to prepare a rough outline and leave 2 minutes in the end to edit their work before time runs out.

QUESTION: How does the information in the reading passage contrast with the information in the listening passage?

ESSAY:

This set of materials talks about supernovae, a celestial phenomenon that occurs when a star explodes. While the reading discusses the type 1 supernova, the listening talks about the type 2 kind.

According to the reading, a type 1 supernova only occurs when two stars exist next to each other and one star becomes a white dwarf, which is a star that has shrunk and is on the verge of collapse. Its companion star, on the other hand, continues to grow and eventually has to stop expanding once it comes in contact with the white dwarf. When this happens, material from the large star transfers into the white dwarf, and when the white dwarf grows to a critical mass (1.4 times that of the sun), the white dwarf explodes. This explosion is called a supernova, and it has been seen by the naked eye twice in recorded history, but more has been observed since the invention of the telescope.

On the other hand, the listening describes a type 2 supernova. The lecturer mentions that in a type 2 supernova, only one star is involved. This star is in the process of dying. It has become massive; its core is getting hotter and hotter, and once it reaches its critical mass or ten times the size of the sun, it collapses and explodes in a thermonuclear reaction, which is also called a supernova event. According to the professor, the most famous type 2 supernova was observed in China and was visible to the naked eye for 23 days in daylight and for a period of about two years at night. In 1987, another type 2 supernova was observed. This one was said to have occured close enough to the Milky Way galaxy and was strong enough to be seen by the naked eye.


This sample essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.

IS IT CORRECT? - 6 - I have 25 years old.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!

IS IT CORRECT?

EPISODE 6

MISTAKE:  I have 25 years old.
CORRECTION:  I am 25 years old.

This is a common mistake if students use the verb “have” in their native language to talk about age. To them it seems perfectly logical to say: “I have 25 years old” or “My son has 2 years old.”

The correct ones, however, are:

“I am 25 years old” and “My son is 2 years old.”

In English “have” cannot be used to talk about one’s age. If you keep making this mistake, this is something you need to practice often until you simply get used to it (try repeating out loud correct sentences like above a few times a day every day and soon you will no longer need it).

If you feel you often translate phrases or sentences from your first language in order to say something in your second language, don’t worry. This is a stage that every student goes through and it will gradually go away if you practice. So go practice!

Good luck!
Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights

ania@nylanguagecenter.com

IS IT CORRECT? - 5 - I like it too much.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!

IS IT CORRECT?

EPISODE 5

MISTAKE:  I like it too much.
CORRECTION:  I like it very much. / I like it a lot.

This sentence is not always a mistake. It all depends on what you mean by saying it.

This is not a mistake if you want to say that you like something very much, but you would prefer not to like it. Or, you feel guilty you like something more than you should.

For example, you know you should quit smoking because it’s bad for you, but you just enjoy smoking a lot and cannot quit it – you would then say: 

“I want to quit smoking, but I like it too much.”

Another situation:  your mom wants to donate toys you no longer play with. You say: 

“It’s a great idea, but can I please keep my favorite teddy bear? I like it too much to give it away.”

But it is a mistake if you say:

I went to a wedding last Saturday. It was so wonderful and I liked it too much!

I will be confused because you are telling me the wedding was so great, but then you say you liked it too much. This means you feel guilty that you liked it or you think you liked it more that you should have. If there is no reason to feel guilty about it, you should just say:

I went to a wedding last Saturday. It was so wonderful and I liked it very/so much!

Take a look at another example:

The Rolling Stones concert I went to was awesome. The music was great and there were so many people.

It means you like everything about the concert: the music and the fact that there were a lot of people.

The Rolling Stones concert I went to was awesome. The music was great and there were too many people.

The sentence above means you liked the music, but you didn’t like the fact that there were a lot of people. In this situation it is better to say:

The Rolling Stones concert I went to was awesome. The music was great, but there were too many people.

So remember, use:

too + adjective (e.g. too long)       or        too + quantifier (e.g. too much)

when you want to express your negative opinion or you feel guilty about something.

If you want me to give you more examples or you have a question about English grammar, e-mail me at: ania@nylanguagecenter.com
Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights

IS IT CORRECT? - 4 - I speak English everyday.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!

IS IT CORRECT?

EPISODE 4

 MISTAKE:
I speak English everyday.

CORRECTION:
I speak English every day.

You can "only" make this mistake in writing. In speaking, of course, you will not hear the difference. However, I decided to give it attention because it is a very common mistake that students and native users of English make.

When you want to use it as a time phrase (to indicate how often you do something), it has to be written as two words. It is best to put it at the end of a sentence (or a clause), but starting a sentence with it is fine, too.

Examples:

I  eat breakfast every day. (at the end of a sentence)

I try to exercise every day, but sometimes I’m too busy. (at the end of a clause)

Every day he wakes up at 7 a.m. (at the beginning of a sentence)

“Everyday” written together is an adjective and means “average”, “ordinary”, “typical”, “usual”. As an adjective it modifies a noun so in a sentence it needs to be put before the noun it modifies. 

Examples:

These are not my everyday shoes. I only wear them on special occasions.

Politicians often use words that are difficult to understand to everyday people.

Rain is almost an everyday occurrence in Seattle.

You can e-mail me at: ania@nylanguagecenter.com if you have any questions or suggestions.
Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights

IS IT CORRECT? - 3 - I came in New York 2 months ago.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!

IS IT CORRECT?

EPISODE 3

 MISTAKE:
I came in New York 2 months ago.

CORRECTION:
I came to New York 2 months ago.

Both “come in” and “come to” can mean “arrive” or “enter”, which is why the mistake above is so common. However, “come in” is used when someone is entering a room or a building, rather than a city or a country. It also refers more to the aspect of entering the place rather than visiting.

That’s why it’s OK to say:

“Please, come in.”

You hear someone knock on the door and you are encouraging this person to go through the door and enter the office or apartment.

But it is not OK to say:

“I’m throwing a party this weekend. Can you come in?”

In this sentence you want someone to visit you, not simply go through the door. You should say:

“I’m throwing a party this weekend. Can you come?”

or

“I’m throwing a party this weekend. Can you come to my place?” (here: place = apartment/house)

If you have other questions, e-mail me at: ania@nylanguagecenter.com
Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights

IS IT CORRECT? - 2 - The subway station in near to my house.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!

IS IT CORRECT?

EPISODE 2

 MISTAKE:

“The subway station is near to my house.”

CORRECTION:

The subway station is near my house.

                           or

The subway station is next to my house.

The difference between “near” and “next to” is small, but technically they are not exactly the same.

“Near” means “close to” or “not far from”. In this case it would mean that the subway station is close to my house, let’s say one block away.

“Next to” means that two people/things/places are very close to each other with nothing in between them. It would mean that when I leave my house the subways station is right there, I don’t have to walk any farther.

If you have additional questions, e-mail me at: ania@nylanguagecenter.com

Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights

IS IT CORRECT? - 1 - I'm going to shopping.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!

 

IS IT CORRECT?

EPISODE 1

MISTAKE:

“I’m going to shopping”

SITUATION  1 – you are talking about an activity that is happening right now and you want to use Present Continuous tense (also called Present Progressive). All you need to remember is that when you say you are going to, you are talking about going to a place or destination. Clearly, shopping is not a place, but an activity, so we cannot go to shopping just as we cannot go to eating or go to exercising.

SOLUTION:

Substitute an activity with a place and say:

I  am  going  to  shopping    the  supermarket.

I  am  going  to   eating   a  restaurant.

I  am  going  to   exercising   the  gym.

SITUATION  2 – you are talking about your prearranged plans for the future and you want to use going to to talk about the future, not the present. In this case you cannot use the gerund (verb+ing) after going to. You have to use the base form of the verb to form an infinitive (to + verb).

SOLUTION: 

Say:

I’m  going  to   shopping   do shopping.

I’m  going  to   eating   eat.

I’m  going  to   exercising   exercise.

Hope that helps!

Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights