A TOEFL integrated essay on online encyclopedias

This is another example of a TOEFL integrated essay. The subject is on online encyclopedias. The reading passage challenges their credibility for reasons mentioned in the essay below, while the lecture defends them as viable sources of information.

The class was given 3 minutes to read the text, after which we listened to the lecture. Then everyone wrote their essays within the 20-minute time limit. This essay was written during this 20-minute writing exercise.

WRITING TASK: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they oppose the specific points made in the reading passage.

ESSAY:

This set of materials talks about the validity of communal online encyclopedias. While the reading questions the trustworthiness of these online publications by mentioning errors in the articles, problems with hacking, and lack of editorial decisions on which subjects should be given more weight, the listening defends these online encyclopedias by countering the points made in the reading.

The first point mentioned in the text is that online encyclopedias lack credentials because anyone can contribute and make changes to the articles. It points out that traditional encyclopedias, on the other hand, are only written by experts making their articles more credible. The professor in this listening passage, however, disagrees with the text and mentions that traditional encyclopedias are never really perfectly accurate in the first place, and in fact, the errors found in online encyclopedias can easily be corrected giving the articles their updated information.

The second point mentioned in the text is online encyclopedias' vulnerability to hacking. The reading reminds us that since anyone can contribute and make changes to articles, hackers and vandals can easily compromise the content by correcting or adding information that is completely wrong or false. The professor, on the other hand, states that the crucial sections of articles in online encyclopedias are actually in read-only formats and are therefore protected from hacking. In addition to this, she adds that there are special editors that monitor changes in these encyclopedias to eliminate any malicious or false information.

Third, the reading points out that the topics covered in online encyclopedias are given equal weight, and that there is a lack of editorial decision-making involved in giving more significant subjects more importance than trendy or popular topics. The professor, on the other hand, insists that this variety of subjects is actually an advantage, and that the reason that traditional encyclopedias have to give more importance to some subjects is their lack of space.

-- Joe Yu, ESL instructor

Level 4 writing exercise: 3rd person singular

This is the key to the writing exercise on page 24 of the Level 4 textbook New Beginnings: A Complete English Course. In this exercise, students first read a journal entry about someone's observations regarding people in the United States. Students then have to copy the journal entry and change "people in the United States" to "Dolores." In doing so, they also need to make necessary changes to the pronouns and verbs in the article.

Dolores has a lot of different customs. For example, her eating habits are very different from ours. She usually takes only a half hour or an hour for lunch, and she almost never goes home at lunchtime. She eats her big meal in the evening. She usually has dinner around six or seven o'clock, but she sometimes eats as early as 5:30 p.m.

Dolores has different ways of greeting people. For example, she always shakes hands when she meets a person for the first time, but she seldom shakes hands with good friends or people at work. Women sometimes don't shake hands at all in social situations, but Dolores' female friends usually do.


-- Joe Yu, ESL instructor

A TOEFL integrated essay on social promotion

For this writing task, the class read a short passage in three minutes then listened to a talk on the same topic. The reading passage is on page 497 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL. The students then answered a question in the form of an essay. The following essay was written within the 20-minute time limit during the writing exercise. As always, note the organization and how each paragraph focuses on a single topic.

QUESTION: How do the ideas in the listening passage challenge the ideas in the reading passage?

ESSAY:

The reading and the listening passages discuss the idea of ending social promotion, the practice of allowing students who are not doing well to move up to the next grade. The reading presents the problem experienced by the Hamilton School District and the solution the district thought would solve the problem. The listening, on the other hand, discusses the negative results of the district's attempt to end this problem. In short, the district didn't succeed in eliminating the problem.

The reading passage talks about the practice of social promotion at one particular school district, the Hamilton School District, and the fact that it led to a high drop-out rate among its students. In an attempt to solve this problem, the district decided to test students before they were allowed to advance to the next level. Because testing students at the end of each year was not feasible, the district decided to test the students at the end of the 6th grade, before they moved on to junior high.

By implementing this strategy, the district expected to see three positive results. One result would be that social promotion would end since teachers would not have a good reason to promote students who will eventually be held back after the 6th grade. Another result the district expected to see was that students would be more prepared to study in junior high and high schools. Last, the district expected that more students would graduate high school since they would be ready for the difficult material in the higher grades.

The listening passage, on the other hand, reveals that the district's attempt failed. First, they found that social promotion didn't end in the lower grades, which had negative consequences when it came to testing them after the 6th grade. Second, there were as many students who were unprepared before the testing program was implemented, and third, they found that the drop-out rate, in fact, increased. As it turned out, more students were held back and they were so unprepared for junior high school that many were held back at least twice. This caused discouragement among the students and many of them dropped out.

In summary, the program failed, and as a result, the school district ended it after 10 years.  

This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.

IS IT CORRECT? - 7 - It's more better.

All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!
 

 

 MISTAKE:  It’s more better.

CORRECTION:  It’s much better.

Although communicative (everyone will understand what you mean) and unambiguous (no one will be confused about what you mean), this phrase is simply incorrect English. Here is why.

If you want to compare two objects, people, animals, or ideas we need to form a comparative adjective. You probably already know that "good" is an irregular adjective, and its comparative form is "better". 

Regular adjectives follow these rules:

1)   almost all one-syllable adjectives, and some two-syllable ones need -er at the end. Example: long - longer, hard - harder, happy - happier, etc.

2)   most two-syllable adjectives and all adjectives of three or more syllables need "more" in front of them. Example: careful - more careful, important - more important, beautiful - more beautiful, etc.

YOU CANNOT use "more" to emphasize an adjective that is already comparative, like "better". For the same reason you cannot say “more longer” or “more happier”

YOU SHOULD say: It's better. or  It's much better. You will say "much better" if you want to say that you strongly prefer one of the object/people/ideas.

Feel free to e-mail me if you have other grammar questions.

Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights

ania@nylanguagecenter.com

A TOEFL independent essay on leadership

For the independent essay on the TOEFL, test takers are asked to express their opinions on the topic asked. After reading the question, they have 30 minutes to write a unified and organized essay about the topic. Test takers should spend the first three minutes planning and making a rough outline and leave 3 minutes in the end to edit their work.

This writing task is from page 498 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL and was written within the 30-minute time limit during a writing exercise. Note the answer to the question in the introduction, the unified body paragraphs explaining the answer, and the conclusion that reiterates but doesn't simply repeat the thesis statement.

QUESTION: What are the characteristics of a good leader? Give reasons and examples to support your response.

ESSAY:

I believe a good leader must be able to motivate his followers to accomplish each of their tasks the best way they know how. Second, I think a good leader must make his followers feel they are vital parts of the team and that their contributions are crucial in helping the team succeed. If a leader is able to accomplish these, he'll have a higher likelihood of succeeding in whatever task is at hand.

It's important for a leader to make a conscious effort to motivate his workers and make sure that everyone in his team is in the right mindset to accomplish a task because the success of the entire group depends on it. Individuals can easily stray from the task in many ways. They can suddenly come up with an idea that is different from the original concept and start to move in a different direction without even realizing it. The leader should monitor this, evaluate the situation, and lead this worker back on track.

In addition, workers can feel unenergetic or uncreative at times. A leader should be able to detect this and quickly remedy the situation in order to positively move the project in the right direction and maximize everyone's work output. This can be done by having an informal chat with these individuals and informally reminding them of the importance of their contribution and the importance of their dedication to the project.

Second, a leader must make everyone feel that they are an integral part of the team. Workers who feel disenfranchised can easily act in ways or move in directions that pull the entire group in the wrong direction. A leader has to show that he values everyone's input and make everyone feel that they are able to voice his or her opinion to a listening ear. This approachability not only allows workers to feel secure and valued at work, it also makes the workplace a pleasant environment where everyone is ready to do his or her best.

Having these leadership qualities will help the leader maintain a high morale among workers, and workers who feel good about their jobs and the work they are doing are more likely to give it their best effort. In the end, the result is a successful team accomplishing tasks with superior quality.


This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.

A TOEFL integrated essay on Venus

This is another example of an integrated essay for the TOEFL. This was written within the 20-minute time limit during our writing task. For this essay, we first read a passage on the planet Venus on page 460 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL iBT. We read the passage in three minutes. After which, we listened to a lecture on the same topic. I often stress the importance of organization when it comes to writing. Students should spend the first two minutes to create a rough outline and leave 2 minutes in the end to edit their work.

Note the thesis statement in the introduction. Your thesis statement should answer the question. In this essay, I covered the reading passage in two paragraphs to clearly separate the two topics mentioned: the visibility of Venus from earth and the high temperatures on Venus. The last paragraph covers the information added from the listening.

QUESTION: How does the information in the listening passage add to the information in the reading passage?

ESSAY:

This set of materials discusses some characteristics of the planet Venus. The reading mentions the planet's visibility from earth, as well as its temperature. The listening adds to this information by giving a reason for Venus' high temperature.

In the reading passage, we learn that Venus is also referred to as both the Morning Star and the Evening Star because it shines brightly and can be seen from earth even when the sun is partially present at dawn and at dusk. We then learn that this is due to the presence of thick white clouds that reflect sunlight back to earth.

The reading also points out that the temperature on Venus is quite hot at 900 degrees Fahrenheit. Scientists learned this fact after one space probe that was able to send data back to earth before it was destroyed revealed this fact. The probe also revealed that the clouds on Venus, in fact, are composed of sulfuric acid, not carbon dioxide, and that they never part to allow any sunlight into the planet.

In the listening passage, the professor provides some insight on the extreme heat on Venus. She points out that this has nothing to do with its close proximity to the sun. Indeed, Mercury, which is closer to the sun, is cooler than Venus. The reason for its high temperature is that the atmosphere on Venus is made up of high amounts of carbon dioxide, which acts as a barrier. It traps the heat and prevents it from escaping, making the temperature on the planet intensely high.

This example essay is written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.

A TOEFL Integrated essay on supernovae

This is an example of an integrated essay on the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language). This essay responds to the writing task on page 407 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL. Students have three minutes to read the passage on supernovae. They then listen to a lecture on the same topic and write their essays within the 20-minute time limit.

It's important to write a well-organized essay, to have a clear thesis statement, which is the answer to the question, and to convey how the listening relates to the reading. Students should spend 2 minutes in the beginning to prepare a rough outline and leave 2 minutes in the end to edit their work before time runs out.

QUESTION: How does the information in the reading passage contrast with the information in the listening passage?

ESSAY:

This set of materials talks about supernovae, a celestial phenomenon that occurs when a star explodes. While the reading discusses the type 1 supernova, the listening talks about the type 2 kind.

According to the reading, a type 1 supernova only occurs when two stars exist next to each other and one star becomes a white dwarf, which is a star that has shrunk and is on the verge of collapse. Its companion star, on the other hand, continues to grow and eventually has to stop expanding once it comes in contact with the white dwarf. When this happens, material from the large star transfers into the white dwarf, and when the white dwarf grows to a critical mass (1.4 times that of the sun), the white dwarf explodes. This explosion is called a supernova, and it has been seen by the naked eye twice in recorded history, but more has been observed since the invention of the telescope.

On the other hand, the listening describes a type 2 supernova. The lecturer mentions that in a type 2 supernova, only one star is involved. This star is in the process of dying. It has become massive; its core is getting hotter and hotter, and once it reaches its critical mass or ten times the size of the sun, it collapses and explodes in a thermonuclear reaction, which is also called a supernova event. According to the professor, the most famous type 2 supernova was observed in China and was visible to the naked eye for 23 days in daylight and for a period of about two years at night. In 1987, another type 2 supernova was observed. This one was said to have occured close enough to the Milky Way galaxy and was strong enough to be seen by the naked eye.


This sample essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.