A TOEFL integrated essay on Venus

This is another example of an integrated essay for the TOEFL. This was written within the 20-minute time limit during our writing task. For this essay, we first read a passage on the planet Venus on page 460 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL iBT. We read the passage in three minutes. After which, we listened to a lecture on the same topic. I often stress the importance of organization when it comes to writing. Students should spend the first two minutes to create a rough outline and leave 2 minutes in the end to edit their work.

Note the thesis statement in the introduction. Your thesis statement should answer the question. In this essay, I covered the reading passage in two paragraphs to clearly separate the two topics mentioned: the visibility of Venus from earth and the high temperatures on Venus. The last paragraph covers the information added from the listening.

QUESTION: How does the information in the listening passage add to the information in the reading passage?

ESSAY:

This set of materials discusses some characteristics of the planet Venus. The reading mentions the planet's visibility from earth, as well as its temperature. The listening adds to this information by giving a reason for Venus' high temperature.

In the reading passage, we learn that Venus is also referred to as both the Morning Star and the Evening Star because it shines brightly and can be seen from earth even when the sun is partially present at dawn and at dusk. We then learn that this is due to the presence of thick white clouds that reflect sunlight back to earth.

The reading also points out that the temperature on Venus is quite hot at 900 degrees Fahrenheit. Scientists learned this fact after one space probe that was able to send data back to earth before it was destroyed revealed this fact. The probe also revealed that the clouds on Venus, in fact, are composed of sulfuric acid, not carbon dioxide, and that they never part to allow any sunlight into the planet.

In the listening passage, the professor provides some insight on the extreme heat on Venus. She points out that this has nothing to do with its close proximity to the sun. Indeed, Mercury, which is closer to the sun, is cooler than Venus. The reason for its high temperature is that the atmosphere on Venus is made up of high amounts of carbon dioxide, which acts as a barrier. It traps the heat and prevents it from escaping, making the temperature on the planet intensely high.

This example essay is written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.