For this writing task, the class read a short passage in three minutes then listened to a talk on the same topic. The reading passage is on page 497 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL. The students then answered a question in the form of an essay. The following essay was written within the 20-minute time limit during the writing exercise. As always, note the organization and how each paragraph focuses on a single topic.
QUESTION: How do the ideas in the listening passage challenge the ideas in the reading passage?
ESSAY:
The reading and the listening passages discuss the idea of ending social promotion, the practice of allowing students who are not doing well to move up to the next grade. The reading presents the problem experienced by the Hamilton School District and the solution the district thought would solve the problem. The listening, on the other hand, discusses the negative results of the district's attempt to end this problem. In short, the district didn't succeed in eliminating the problem.
The reading passage talks about the practice of social promotion at one particular school district, the Hamilton School District, and the fact that it led to a high drop-out rate among its students. In an attempt to solve this problem, the district decided to test students before they were allowed to advance to the next level. Because testing students at the end of each year was not feasible, the district decided to test the students at the end of the 6th grade, before they moved on to junior high.
By implementing this strategy, the district expected to see three positive results. One result would be that social promotion would end since teachers would not have a good reason to promote students who will eventually be held back after the 6th grade. Another result the district expected to see was that students would be more prepared to study in junior high and high schools. Last, the district expected that more students would graduate high school since they would be ready for the difficult material in the higher grades.
The listening passage, on the other hand, reveals that the district's attempt failed. First, they found that social promotion didn't end in the lower grades, which had negative consequences when it came to testing them after the 6th grade. Second, there were as many students who were unprepared before the testing program was implemented, and third, they found that the drop-out rate, in fact, increased. As it turned out, more students were held back and they were so unprepared for junior high school that many were held back at least twice. This caused discouragement among the students and many of them dropped out.
In summary, the program failed, and as a result, the school district ended it after 10 years.
This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.
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