This essay is in response to the integrated writing task in Model Test 2 of the Barrons TOEFL textbook, 14th edition. During the exercise, students read the reading passage for 3 minutes, after which they listened to part of a lecture on the same topic. We spent 2 minutes to jot down a quick outline, then we wrote for 20 minutes.
Students are encouraged to keep organization in mind. The thesis statement, which is essentially one's answer to the writing task, has to be clear, and each paragraph has to be unified.
ESSAY:
In this set of materials, the reading talks about the Turing Test, which is supposed to determine whether a computer is able to think, while the professor in the listening passage discusses the ability of the computer to answer questions but casts doubt on the idea that any computer can show intelligence even if it passes the test.
The Turing Test, described in the reading, is based on the idea that a computer is determined to be able to think if it can answer questions from a group of people without these people knowing that they were talking to a computer. The test involves the group of people typing or saying questions from one room and waiting for an answer from another room. The people asking the questions don't know whether they are talking to a person or a computer. If in the end, the group thinks that a person had been answering their questions or if they couldn't decide, the computer is said to have passed the Turing Test, which means that it is determined to able to think. Incidentally, no computer has met the challenge and passed the test.
In the listening, the professor questions the validity of the Turing Test by pointing out that a computer's ability to answer questions correctly has nothing to do with its intelligence but in its ability to access a huge reference to come up with the right answer. The professor uses an example of a monolingual English speaker who doesn't speak any Chinese and says that if this English speaker has to answer questions from the Chinese person, though he wouldn't be able to understand a word, if the English speaker had a database which he could refer to, it would in fact be possible for him to give a correct answer. The professor then explains that a computer could do the same thing and when a computer is able to answer correctly with the resources that it has, it would only be displaying its behavioral ability, not its intelligence. He also adds that, in this case, the computer would only be acting intelligent without being intelligent.
This sample essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor, during the 20-minute writing exercise in class.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Integrated essays on our "fight or flight" mechanism
This integrated essay for the TOEFL is on the "fight or flight" response of human beings. The reading passage presents a standard definition and explanation of this mechanism, while the lecture mentions enlightening new observations revealing that men and women, in fact, react to danger and stress differently.
The following two essays are examples of how test takers can approach this task. The first one covers the text first, then mentions the points made in the lecture. The second one (you may have to click continue) goes right into the listening and contrasts the points made by the professor with those found in the text.
This exercise is on page 426 of DELTA'S Key to the TOEFL iBT Advanced Skill Practice textbook.
TASK: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they differ from specific points made in the reading passage.
FIRST ESSAY:
This set of materials talks about the "fight or flight" mechanism in humans. The reading mentions the various ways we react to stressful situations, while the listening adds to the information, explaining that men and women actually deal with negative situations differently.
According to the reading, our fight or flight mechanism allows us to either deal with a problem head on or flee from it if the problem is too large or difficult to handle. A surge of adrenaline is released in our bodies that triggers this response which leads us to attack someone physically or engage someone in a verbal argument if we decide to fight. On the other hand, if we determine fleeing to be the better choice, we withdraw from the situation by leaving the space and avoid people or engage in habits that separate us from society. This can take the form of drug or alcohol abuse.
The lecture, on the other hand, mentions that the fight or flight response actually only refers to men. The professor points out that most of the research done on this mechanism has been done on men, and there is growing evidence that women react to stress differently. Some scientists say that while men engage in fight or flight behavior, women respond to stress by tending and befriending. As an example, scientists noticed that in their workplace, men who encountered stress tended to verbally attack another person and leave the room, while women who were stressed, tended to clean the lab to deal with the mess. In addition, instead of running away, they tended to sit down and talk to a colleague about their predicament. Women, the scientists noticed, avoided fights and were more apt to diffuse the situation by seeking advice and turning to colleagues for help.
The following two essays are examples of how test takers can approach this task. The first one covers the text first, then mentions the points made in the lecture. The second one (you may have to click continue) goes right into the listening and contrasts the points made by the professor with those found in the text.
This exercise is on page 426 of DELTA'S Key to the TOEFL iBT Advanced Skill Practice textbook.
TASK: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they differ from specific points made in the reading passage.
FIRST ESSAY:
This set of materials talks about the "fight or flight" mechanism in humans. The reading mentions the various ways we react to stressful situations, while the listening adds to the information, explaining that men and women actually deal with negative situations differently.
According to the reading, our fight or flight mechanism allows us to either deal with a problem head on or flee from it if the problem is too large or difficult to handle. A surge of adrenaline is released in our bodies that triggers this response which leads us to attack someone physically or engage someone in a verbal argument if we decide to fight. On the other hand, if we determine fleeing to be the better choice, we withdraw from the situation by leaving the space and avoid people or engage in habits that separate us from society. This can take the form of drug or alcohol abuse.
The lecture, on the other hand, mentions that the fight or flight response actually only refers to men. The professor points out that most of the research done on this mechanism has been done on men, and there is growing evidence that women react to stress differently. Some scientists say that while men engage in fight or flight behavior, women respond to stress by tending and befriending. As an example, scientists noticed that in their workplace, men who encountered stress tended to verbally attack another person and leave the room, while women who were stressed, tended to clean the lab to deal with the mess. In addition, instead of running away, they tended to sit down and talk to a colleague about their predicament. Women, the scientists noticed, avoided fights and were more apt to diffuse the situation by seeking advice and turning to colleagues for help.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
A TOEFL integrated essay on online encyclopedias
This is another example of a TOEFL integrated essay. The subject is on online encyclopedias. The reading passage challenges their credibility for reasons mentioned in the essay below, while the lecture defends them as viable sources of information.
The class was given 3 minutes to read the text, after which we listened to the lecture. Then everyone wrote their essays within the 20-minute time limit. This essay was written during this 20-minute writing exercise.
WRITING TASK: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they oppose the specific points made in the reading passage.
ESSAY:
This set of materials talks about the validity of communal online encyclopedias. While the reading questions the trustworthiness of these online publications by mentioning errors in the articles, problems with hacking, and lack of editorial decisions on which subjects should be given more weight, the listening defends these online encyclopedias by countering the points made in the reading.
The first point mentioned in the text is that online encyclopedias lack credentials because anyone can contribute and make changes to the articles. It points out that traditional encyclopedias, on the other hand, are only written by experts making their articles more credible. The professor in this listening passage, however, disagrees with the text and mentions that traditional encyclopedias are never really perfectly accurate in the first place, and in fact, the errors found in online encyclopedias can easily be corrected giving the articles their updated information.
The second point mentioned in the text is online encyclopedias' vulnerability to hacking. The reading reminds us that since anyone can contribute and make changes to articles, hackers and vandals can easily compromise the content by correcting or adding information that is completely wrong or false. The professor, on the other hand, states that the crucial sections of articles in online encyclopedias are actually in read-only formats and are therefore protected from hacking. In addition to this, she adds that there are special editors that monitor changes in these encyclopedias to eliminate any malicious or false information.
Third, the reading points out that the topics covered in online encyclopedias are given equal weight, and that there is a lack of editorial decision-making involved in giving more significant subjects more importance than trendy or popular topics. The professor, on the other hand, insists that this variety of subjects is actually an advantage, and that the reason that traditional encyclopedias have to give more importance to some subjects is their lack of space.
-- Joe Yu, ESL instructor
The class was given 3 minutes to read the text, after which we listened to the lecture. Then everyone wrote their essays within the 20-minute time limit. This essay was written during this 20-minute writing exercise.
WRITING TASK: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they oppose the specific points made in the reading passage.
ESSAY:
This set of materials talks about the validity of communal online encyclopedias. While the reading questions the trustworthiness of these online publications by mentioning errors in the articles, problems with hacking, and lack of editorial decisions on which subjects should be given more weight, the listening defends these online encyclopedias by countering the points made in the reading.
The first point mentioned in the text is that online encyclopedias lack credentials because anyone can contribute and make changes to the articles. It points out that traditional encyclopedias, on the other hand, are only written by experts making their articles more credible. The professor in this listening passage, however, disagrees with the text and mentions that traditional encyclopedias are never really perfectly accurate in the first place, and in fact, the errors found in online encyclopedias can easily be corrected giving the articles their updated information.
The second point mentioned in the text is online encyclopedias' vulnerability to hacking. The reading reminds us that since anyone can contribute and make changes to articles, hackers and vandals can easily compromise the content by correcting or adding information that is completely wrong or false. The professor, on the other hand, states that the crucial sections of articles in online encyclopedias are actually in read-only formats and are therefore protected from hacking. In addition to this, she adds that there are special editors that monitor changes in these encyclopedias to eliminate any malicious or false information.
Third, the reading points out that the topics covered in online encyclopedias are given equal weight, and that there is a lack of editorial decision-making involved in giving more significant subjects more importance than trendy or popular topics. The professor, on the other hand, insists that this variety of subjects is actually an advantage, and that the reason that traditional encyclopedias have to give more importance to some subjects is their lack of space.
-- Joe Yu, ESL instructor
Monday, March 25, 2013
Level 4 writing exercise: 3rd person singular
This is the key to the writing exercise on page 24 of the Level 4 textbook New Beginnings: A Complete English Course. In this exercise, students first read a journal entry about someone's observations regarding people in the United States. Students then have to copy the journal entry and change "people in the United States" to "Dolores." In doing so, they also need to make necessary changes to the pronouns and verbs in the article.
Dolores has a lot of different customs. For example, her eating habits are very different from ours. She usually takes only a half hour or an hour for lunch, and she almost never goes home at lunchtime. She eats her big meal in the evening. She usually has dinner around six or seven o'clock, but she sometimes eats as early as 5:30 p.m.
Dolores has different ways of greeting people. For example, she always shakes hands when she meets a person for the first time, but she seldom shakes hands with good friends or people at work. Women sometimes don't shake hands at all in social situations, but Dolores' female friends usually do.
-- Joe Yu, ESL instructor
Friday, March 1, 2013
A TOEFL integrated essay on social promotion
For this writing task, the class read a short passage in three minutes then listened to a talk on the same topic. The reading passage is on page 497 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL. The students then answered a question in the form of an essay. The following essay was written within the 20-minute time limit during the writing exercise. As always, note the organization and how each paragraph focuses on a single topic.
QUESTION: How do the ideas in the listening passage challenge the ideas in the reading passage?
ESSAY:
The reading and the listening passages discuss the idea of ending social promotion, the practice of allowing students who are not doing well to move up to the next grade. The reading presents the problem experienced by the Hamilton School District and the solution the district thought would solve the problem. The listening, on the other hand, discusses the negative results of the district's attempt to end this problem. In short, the district didn't succeed in eliminating the problem.
The reading passage talks about the practice of social promotion at one particular school district, the Hamilton School District, and the fact that it led to a high drop-out rate among its students. In an attempt to solve this problem, the district decided to test students before they were allowed to advance to the next level. Because testing students at the end of each year was not feasible, the district decided to test the students at the end of the 6th grade, before they moved on to junior high.
By implementing this strategy, the district expected to see three positive results. One result would be that social promotion would end since teachers would not have a good reason to promote students who will eventually be held back after the 6th grade. Another result the district expected to see was that students would be more prepared to study in junior high and high schools. Last, the district expected that more students would graduate high school since they would be ready for the difficult material in the higher grades.
The listening passage, on the other hand, reveals that the district's attempt failed. First, they found that social promotion didn't end in the lower grades, which had negative consequences when it came to testing them after the 6th grade. Second, there were as many students who were unprepared before the testing program was implemented, and third, they found that the drop-out rate, in fact, increased. As it turned out, more students were held back and they were so unprepared for junior high school that many were held back at least twice. This caused discouragement among the students and many of them dropped out.
In summary, the program failed, and as a result, the school district ended it after 10 years.
This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.
QUESTION: How do the ideas in the listening passage challenge the ideas in the reading passage?
ESSAY:
The reading and the listening passages discuss the idea of ending social promotion, the practice of allowing students who are not doing well to move up to the next grade. The reading presents the problem experienced by the Hamilton School District and the solution the district thought would solve the problem. The listening, on the other hand, discusses the negative results of the district's attempt to end this problem. In short, the district didn't succeed in eliminating the problem.
The reading passage talks about the practice of social promotion at one particular school district, the Hamilton School District, and the fact that it led to a high drop-out rate among its students. In an attempt to solve this problem, the district decided to test students before they were allowed to advance to the next level. Because testing students at the end of each year was not feasible, the district decided to test the students at the end of the 6th grade, before they moved on to junior high.
By implementing this strategy, the district expected to see three positive results. One result would be that social promotion would end since teachers would not have a good reason to promote students who will eventually be held back after the 6th grade. Another result the district expected to see was that students would be more prepared to study in junior high and high schools. Last, the district expected that more students would graduate high school since they would be ready for the difficult material in the higher grades.
The listening passage, on the other hand, reveals that the district's attempt failed. First, they found that social promotion didn't end in the lower grades, which had negative consequences when it came to testing them after the 6th grade. Second, there were as many students who were unprepared before the testing program was implemented, and third, they found that the drop-out rate, in fact, increased. As it turned out, more students were held back and they were so unprepared for junior high school that many were held back at least twice. This caused discouragement among the students and many of them dropped out.
In summary, the program failed, and as a result, the school district ended it after 10 years.
This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.
IS IT CORRECT? - 7 - It's more better.
All language learners around the world make mistakes. Have
you ever felt your teacher’s corrections do not have a long-lasting effect? Are
you frustrated that even though your teacher corrects you, once you leave the
class you keep making the same mistakes? We understand how you feel and will
help you eliminate mistakes you might be making. The purpose of this section is
to address common mistakes many students from different countries make in
English and briefly explain why they are incorrect. Once you understand why
they are incorrect, it might be easier for you to avoid them!
Although
communicative (everyone will understand what you mean) and unambiguous (no one
will be confused about what you mean), this phrase is simply incorrect English.
Here is why.
YOU CANNOT use "more" to emphasize an adjective that
is already comparative, like "better". For
the same reason you cannot say “more longer” or “more happier”
YOU SHOULD say: It's better. or It's much better. You will say "much better" if you want to say that you strongly prefer one of the object/people/ideas.
Feel free to e-mail me if you have other grammar questions.
MISTAKE: It’s more better.
CORRECTION:
It’s
much better.
If
you want to compare two objects, people, animals, or ideas we need to form a
comparative adjective. You probably already know that "good"
is an irregular adjective, and its comparative form is "better".
Regular
adjectives follow these rules:
1) almost all one-syllable adjectives, and some
two-syllable ones need -er at the end.
Example: long - longer, hard - harder, happy -
happier, etc.
2) most two-syllable adjectives and all adjectives of
three or more syllables need "more"
in front of them. Example: careful - more careful,
important - more important, beautiful - more beautiful, etc.
YOU SHOULD say: It's better. or It's much better. You will say "much better" if you want to say that you strongly prefer one of the object/people/ideas.
Ania Necakov - Academic Coordinator NYLC Jackson Heights
ania@nylanguagecenter.com
A TOEFL independent essay on leadership
For the independent essay on the TOEFL, test takers are asked to express their opinions on the topic asked. After reading the question, they have 30 minutes to write a unified and organized essay about the topic. Test takers should spend the first three minutes planning and making a rough outline and leave 3 minutes in the end to edit their work.
This writing task is from page 498 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL and was written within the 30-minute time limit during a writing exercise. Note the answer to the question in the introduction, the unified body paragraphs explaining the answer, and the conclusion that reiterates but doesn't simply repeat the thesis statement.
QUESTION: What are the characteristics of a good leader? Give reasons and examples to support your response.
ESSAY:
I believe a good leader must be able to motivate his followers to accomplish each of their tasks the best way they know how. Second, I think a good leader must make his followers feel they are vital parts of the team and that their contributions are crucial in helping the team succeed. If a leader is able to accomplish these, he'll have a higher likelihood of succeeding in whatever task is at hand.
It's important for a leader to make a conscious effort to motivate his workers and make sure that everyone in his team is in the right mindset to accomplish a task because the success of the entire group depends on it. Individuals can easily stray from the task in many ways. They can suddenly come up with an idea that is different from the original concept and start to move in a different direction without even realizing it. The leader should monitor this, evaluate the situation, and lead this worker back on track.
In addition, workers can feel unenergetic or uncreative at times. A leader should be able to detect this and quickly remedy the situation in order to positively move the project in the right direction and maximize everyone's work output. This can be done by having an informal chat with these individuals and informally reminding them of the importance of their contribution and the importance of their dedication to the project.
Second, a leader must make everyone feel that they are an integral part of the team. Workers who feel disenfranchised can easily act in ways or move in directions that pull the entire group in the wrong direction. A leader has to show that he values everyone's input and make everyone feel that they are able to voice his or her opinion to a listening ear. This approachability not only allows workers to feel secure and valued at work, it also makes the workplace a pleasant environment where everyone is ready to do his or her best.
Having these leadership qualities will help the leader maintain a high morale among workers, and workers who feel good about their jobs and the work they are doing are more likely to give it their best effort. In the end, the result is a successful team accomplishing tasks with superior quality.
This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.
This writing task is from page 498 of the Longman Preparation Course for the TOEFL and was written within the 30-minute time limit during a writing exercise. Note the answer to the question in the introduction, the unified body paragraphs explaining the answer, and the conclusion that reiterates but doesn't simply repeat the thesis statement.
QUESTION: What are the characteristics of a good leader? Give reasons and examples to support your response.
ESSAY:
I believe a good leader must be able to motivate his followers to accomplish each of their tasks the best way they know how. Second, I think a good leader must make his followers feel they are vital parts of the team and that their contributions are crucial in helping the team succeed. If a leader is able to accomplish these, he'll have a higher likelihood of succeeding in whatever task is at hand.
It's important for a leader to make a conscious effort to motivate his workers and make sure that everyone in his team is in the right mindset to accomplish a task because the success of the entire group depends on it. Individuals can easily stray from the task in many ways. They can suddenly come up with an idea that is different from the original concept and start to move in a different direction without even realizing it. The leader should monitor this, evaluate the situation, and lead this worker back on track.
In addition, workers can feel unenergetic or uncreative at times. A leader should be able to detect this and quickly remedy the situation in order to positively move the project in the right direction and maximize everyone's work output. This can be done by having an informal chat with these individuals and informally reminding them of the importance of their contribution and the importance of their dedication to the project.
Second, a leader must make everyone feel that they are an integral part of the team. Workers who feel disenfranchised can easily act in ways or move in directions that pull the entire group in the wrong direction. A leader has to show that he values everyone's input and make everyone feel that they are able to voice his or her opinion to a listening ear. This approachability not only allows workers to feel secure and valued at work, it also makes the workplace a pleasant environment where everyone is ready to do his or her best.
Having these leadership qualities will help the leader maintain a high morale among workers, and workers who feel good about their jobs and the work they are doing are more likely to give it their best effort. In the end, the result is a successful team accomplishing tasks with superior quality.
This example essay was written by Joe Yu, ESL instructor.
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